July 2nd, 2010

Lots of new faces, lots of babies in the group.  The group was very young.  The children are more cautious until they learn the routine and the songs.  They love playing the drums and were excited to try out all the different drums.

There have been an averaeg of 15 kids, from babies to young teens participating.  Their enthusiasm and participation increases each session.  The older children help the younger children.  All are willing to share instruments.  The children are beginning to request songs.

WCYDWT…   What can you do with this?

Ok men, I need one of you to help organize a Walk a Mile in Her Shoes march in Sonoma County.  I am willing to help out in any way I can, but I need someone to take the lead on this.

Sexual Violence, domestic violence, these are not just womens issues, and it is important that we as men speak out and have our voices heard on this subject.  Not only for the women we love, but for the little boys watching us, looking for positive male role models.

- b

Chords for Change has begun weekly music sessions with the children at the The Living Room in Santa Rosa.  Our director of music thearpy Jamie Blumenthal will be keeping a brief blog of these sessions, with the hopes of letting people know a little bit about what we are up to.

Check back in for weekly updates!

June 11th, 2010

There were about 10 children.  The youngest was an infant who smiled and moved to the music.  The children are becoming more familiar with the songs.  Some of the children who did not smile last week smiled this week as they got to know a little more.  I can see that it takes a little longer to establish trust.

June 4th, 2010

There were at least 20 children most ages 10 and under.  They were so excited to see and play a wide variety of rhythm instruments.  They children sang along to some of the familiar songs and did movement to the music.  I was very touched by some of the individual children in the session.

As the World begins to kick off its greatest sporting event, women are being put on high alert in the UK and abroad, about the increased danger of domestic violence during the World Cup.   Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com wrote an interesting piece about a new public service annoucement, launched by the Association of Chief Police Officers, to raise awareness of the increased risk of domestic violence during the games.

American women should be familiar with these sorts of warnings, as they have been warned for a long time about the Day of Dread, otherwise known as Superbowl Sunday, where domestic violence rates supposedly surge across the United States.

I guess the premise of the warning is that an increased amount of males, drunk on beer, drunk on the empowerment of victory or the anger of defeat, will result in a larger number of attacks.   I will disregard the fact that I am not sure this premise is true, and ignore the fact that the theory about increased rates of domestic violence on Superbowl Sunday is likely an urban legend, in order to make the point that I think is more important.   That point being, if we are going to have action campaigns to raise awareness of domestic violence around large sporting events, then central to the campaign, must be the message that alcohol and high emotions are not the cause of the violence.

The danger here, is that the victim will think that the attack was not the fault of the perpetrator.  That the violence was the result of circumstance, not person, and the excuses will start to echo:  It was the beer not the person.  He was just emotional.  Had the game resulted in a different outcome, nothing would have happened.  It was just boys being boys, drunk and watching the big game.   It happens.

These types of excuses only serve to temper the perception of how bad the crime really is.  So I hope the scene of the drunk guy abusing his wife because his team lost, doesn’t become a popular dark joke, like way the Don’t drop the soap jokes have made us laugh at prison rape.

I am glad the issue of domestic violence is being taken seriously.   The only point I would like to add, is that if we are going to run adds advising women to be on the lookout during important sporting events, then we need to make it clear by stating explicitly, that the perpetrator is the person, not the event.

WCYDWT…   What can you do with this?

I just read an article about a group of people who did a Sing Out! for the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center (CRCC).  The article can be found by clicking here.

The “Sing Out” in Cleveland was held at the Cleveland Playhouse, but I can see this being held outdoors possibly.  It could be similar to a Take Back The Night type evening.  Might be a good opportunity to bring in other advocates like United Against Sexual Assault, and The Living Room, as a joint fundraiser.

If anybody is interested in brainstorming ideas on this, just let me know.

WCYDWT… stands for “What can you do with this?”  This is the new blog tag I am using for posts aimed at giving people ideas about how they can help Chords for Change and survivors of domestic and sexual violence.  We only have a limited amount of time and creativity, so the hope is that someone else will be inspired to spearhead one of these ideas, and help us make them reality.

Often we will have ideas that I think would be cool to do, but we either don’t have the time, or I am not creative enough to make it happen. Other times I will read something that is being done in another community, that I know we should be doing here… but there is not time to focus on it due to the other priorities of Chords for Change. The hope here, is that one of our readers will take one of the ideas posted, and begin to run with it and collaborate with us and help us see it into reality.

I also have had people ask how they can help, and these WCYDWT tagged blogs will be different ways to help.

So WCYDWT?  Let me know.

I imagine one day there was some meeting of executives of the International House of Pancakes.  And at this meeting, it was brought to their attention that their name was a bit too long, and lacked the sleek, new car feel of words like Denny’s.  I image then, that one of those executives stood up and pronounced that a syllable-weary public, will not eat at a restaurant whose name is longer than their menu items.  And the rest is history, IHOP was born.   Two syllables, which other than one, is the sweetest cadence in the language of the busy.

Domestic Violence can be a mouthful.  And if you haven’t heard, it is now ok to just say DV.  It’s so easy, like saying DMV, but you don’t have to stumble through the M.  In all likelihood, this evolving name change is simple convenience.  Amongst advocates describing collaboration, noting that you work with DV survivors seems reasonable because the baseline is established upon what that means.  The nature of advocacy provides a sobering definition.  But the reality of the world as a whole, is that there is no baseline established about the impact or meaning of domestic violence. Thus skipping over the word violence, works to mask the tragedy the word itself carries.  It stretches convenience into the realm of changed meaning.   For this reason I am curious to see how far the popular usage of DV will extend.  I hope not far.

Sexual Violence.   These two words, when by themselves, sell movies and records and attract attention and curiosities.  But when together, they describe a crime whose frequency is staggering.  According to the U.S. Department of Justice’s National Crime Victimization Survey, every 2 minutes someone is sexually assaulted in the US.  I would tell you how many have been assaulted since I started drinking my morning cappuccino, but I lost count.  Probably like 10.  These two words in combination also tend to make the people who hear them feel uncomfortable.  Since people don’t like to feel uncomfortable, something had to give, in order to put us more at ease around the term.  And there are two ways to make people feel more at ease with a word:  Say it more.  Or change it.

Insert Abuse.  Sexual Violence is violence.  Domestic violence is violence.  Yet more and more the word violence is being substituted for what I believe is a more palatable word, abuse.  I hear news anchors now talking about domestic abuse and sexual abuse.   Granted they are correct, and I am not suggesting that the word abuse conjures up images of flowers, but it does seem tempered when compared to violence.  What’s next? Domestic bad-stuff?  Ok, granted, that is taking it too far. It is hyperbole to suggest that turning domestic violence to domestic abuse, will lead us to domestic bad-stuff. Besides, DBS?  Nobody would like the three-syllable abbreviation.

I think we need to keep calling domestic violence, domestic violence. And we need to keep talking about sexual violence as key component of domestic violence. Because that’s what it is, violence.  After all, we’re not just talking about pancakes here.